You're either expecting, already gave birth to your first child, got more than one already and want to reminisce or just curious. Why not start of my blog to scare the shit out of you. (Or make you nod your head depending which one of the above I described you are).
Here we go:
1. Let's start with the most obvious. Giving birth. You're either early, right on time or late. Those are your only choices and no matter which one it is and how much you've prepared, when shit hits the fan, you will want to die. It may either be an all natural birth, a natural birth with drugs ("just give me anything!!!!!") or a planned/unexpected csection. Either way, this baby is coming out. Now. This little creature that's been growing in your belly, that you've been nurturing from the inside is coming out!! What are you going to do? How are you going to take care of it? So many thoughts and feelings, it is oh so overwhelming. And don't get me started on contractions. This ain't no movie; contractions, soon after comes the baby. They want you to count that shit and stay at home for as long as you can. "They want me to what?" For me, I was entering a high risk preclampsia so they had to induce me, I "luckily" had my contractions start while already at the hospital. I was calling in the nurse every 30 minutes saying "I think it's time!!" Only to be told it wasn't. I did an all natural birth (by choice) and only used laughing gas. Trust me, there was no laughing going on in that room.
2. Cutting your baby's nails. If you are a nail tech, maybe it's easy for you. I don't know. But this is hard son!!! Even when they're sleeping. Their soft, gentle little hands and nails. It's hard not to panic. And you haaave to do it so often. Who knew babies' nails grow so effing fast! And they love scratching their cute little faces too. And those mitts don't always stay on so... You just have to suck it up buttercup. But I haven't nipped my son though!.. Yet. That's a whole other terrifying experience on it's own I imagine
3. When your baby falls. This. is. the. worst. It's gonna happen. It's inevitable. And when it finally happens, it's worse for you than it is for them! Your heart will stop. Chances are, they are crying and screaming because they've just scared themselves but you're crying and screaming because omg it's your baby! You're the worst parent in the world!!! No, no. Calm down and check for signs of concussions. If there are none, then you're good to go. But that image of your little one falling will be on your mind for a looong time (or forever).
4. Poop. That's right. Poop. And not just the sight of it, cleaning it for the first time or a poop explosion. That too -- but you will all of a sudden become obsessed with your baby's poop. Why is it so runny!? Why is he grunting so much?! Why is it green!? Why hasn't he pooped in 3 days!! It is a very stressful subject. And when you start him on solids and he becomes constipated, it's hard not to enter a state of panic. Don't worry. Babycenter has a pretty good article in what's normal and what's not. Yup, there are pictures. Who would've thunk you would be googling pictures of poop?
5. Unwanted advice/contradicting advice. If this isn't terrifying then I don't know what is!! Prepare yourself because once you have a baby, everyone all of a sudden becomes a baby expert whether they have kids or not, whether they're your family or complete strangers. Everyone seems to know what's best for your child. Apart from that, you will pulled into all sorts of different directions. Nothing better than contradicting advice. "Sleep with your baby, he'll sleep better... but don't sleep with your baby because you might kill him." All these rules, all these dos and don'ts. Just relax, do your own research and make your own decisions, don't get pressured into doing something someone else wants you to do.
There you have it. That's my top 5, do you have anything to add? I'm sure our future holds many many, many. Many. Many more as my son is only 8 months.
